Pas Vraiment Grand Prix

Abandoned as an infant high in the mountains of Colorado, James was taken in and raised by a family of marmots. They trained him in the art of satire, but warned him: ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’ He didn’t understand the truth of their words until his adopted rodent brother, Donald Trump’s hair, turned to the dark side.

James could only sit by and watch, helpless and appalled, as his evil brother meme’d his way to the White House. Forever changed by what he had seen, James fled to The Netherlands and vowed to always use his powers for good.

Last year, Groningen’s own Ben Feringa rocked the world of really really small car racing when he was awarded the Nobel Prize for his work developing molecular motors. Thanks to him, regulation cars became smaller than ever before. This upcoming year, Groningen may have the chance to rock that world once again as we gear up to host the 12th quinquennial ‘Pas Vraiment Grand Prix’.

On top of the Nobel Prize last year, Groningen may have Ben Feringa to thank for this great honor as well. It is speculated that it was his personal testimony before the molecular motorsports commission that ultimately secured Groningen the host role.

Little cars, big money

Despite the name, the ‘Pas Vraiment Grand Prix’ is a big deal. Every five years, teams from around the world converge on the host city to race their molecular motorcars along a harrowing, meter long gauntlet.

With over ten euros in prize money on the line things inevitably get heated, for both the teams and the fans – a fact which has not gone unnoticed by the event council. Fearing a repeat of the infamous Calgary riots, the council elected to spend more than 400 million euros on security to oversee the event.

On top of the expenditures for security, the council also voted for new regulations concerning race preparedness. ‘Five years ago the Prix was delayed by two hours because none of the teams could find their car keys’, said a spokesperson for the council. ‘Now if any of the teams misplace their keys, or have any other mishaps which delay the start of the race, they’ll be disqualified.’

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