WTF

Obsession with mayonnaise

UKrant.nl -
Mayonnaise. The Dutch love the stuff. And lots of it. 'Can I order some fries with my mayo, please?'

Elfstedentocht

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'I've got the biggest torch here, and it needs blowing out.' Sex or the Elfstedentocht? Dan definitely is no skater.

Dating the Dutch

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There are some things that you may need to consider when embarking on date with a Dutch dame… Dan should know.

Tall Dutchies

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The Dutch are tall. Yes. And Dan is a Britse dwerg. Now stop saying it!

Dutch animal noises

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‘Ghosts say boo, cows say moo!’ says Dan. No, argue his Dutch friends: ‘Cats say moo. Cows say boo. Ghosts go woo.’ Yeah, right!

Swaffelen

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Swaffelen. What? Yes, swaffelen. It's the act of swinging one's penis into another person.

IKEA restaurant

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The streets are empty. Where is everyone? In IKEA, having their car-crash banquet!

Inspection shelf toilet

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Dan honestly didn't know what it was... the inspection shelf toilet.

Three kisses

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Who and when do you kiss in the Netherlands? And who initiates it? Dan wished he'd known that sooner.

Sinterklaasgedicht

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Dutch sarcasm is simply Dutch directness, especially in a Sinterklaasgedicht. And Dan just got a dose to his door.

Expressions

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What better way to mark the result of a difficult decision than to shoot-up a church? And Dan was so sure the Dutch were religiously-tolerant!

Kruidnoten

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Dan bought himself a bag of kruidnoten, tried to eat them in one sitting... only to end up immediately shitting.

Hair gel

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Stroking a Dutchman's head is like stroking broken glass or touching that one rock-hard sock. Kakkers.

Sint Maarten

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The doorbell rings. 'Halloween's over! Vervelende kinderen!', you whimper. Children are the beggars, we are the Sint Maartens.

Lekker

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The L-word! Can't the Dutch last two seconds without saying it? For Dan and all the internationals it means: sexy and hot.

Zwarte Piet is an out-dated tradition

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Tradition is a guide, not a governor, says international student Dan O'Neill. Let's give Black Pete a beard!

Zwarte Piet

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No, it's not an early Christman, but Sinterklaas the Dutch celebrate shortly. But WTF does the black guy has to do with it?
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