Opinion: ‘My sexuality is my own’

Vindicat member Milou Deelen is fed up. In the past year and a half that she has been a member of the student association, she has regularly been called a slut, a whore and a cheap bitch. ‘My sexuality is my own, and not fodder for your jokes.’ On her Facebook page, she is taking a stand.

Today is International Women’s Day and I, Milou Deelen, want to share my story with you. Eighteen months ago I joined a student association, where I have been called a WHORE, A SLUT, or CHEAP BITCH.

I was the subject of a song that dozens of guys would sing every year about “the cheapest bitch of the year”. I felt ashamed and humiliated. When I confronted people about it, I was told it was just a joke. But I never laughed. People also wrote that I ‘could be had for a pack of cigarettes and a Smirnoff’. Then too, they argued: ‘But it’s funny. Milou. It’s just a joke’. But I still wasn’t laughing.

And that’s exactly the point I’m trying to make here. My sexuality is my own, and not fodder for your jokes. Moreover, as a woman, I have just as much a right to sex as a man does. When guys have sex and talk about it, they’re cool. When girls – like me – have sex, we lose people’s respect or our dignity.

So let’s focus on that today and let’s not be ashamed of our sexuality. Many girls may be afraid to make their voices heard, but I’ll make mine heard today. I’m not asking for your pity, I’m asking you to listen to me. Because slut shaming happens everywhere, and it’s not okay.

Together with photographer Jonna Bruinsma I made this video to protest slut shaming. Please share this if you think, like me, that slut shaming is not okay.

Milou Deelen




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