What do you get if you mix a board game fanatic with a competition junkie? A really heated family dinner at the Erasmus residence.
My motto is: second place is first loser! Even though the family gets swept up in the buzz, it is all fun and games and has caused no lasting family feuds. But being a competitive person bleeds into all aspects of my life, especially my student life. And while it has some great benefits, like perseverance, it also has some drawbacks, like, well, also my perseverance.
I get goal hungry, with a one-track mind, and I get so fixed on the destination that quitting isn’t even a glitter of a thought in my mind.
The disease is called destination addiction. It is the belief that happiness is always just around the corner, tied to the next milestone or achievement. But the idea that fulfillment lies in the future keeps people trapped in a constant cycle of chasing an idealized life.
There is a societal blueprint on our walls. Achievement, status, and success are the markers of a well-lived life. We are taught that happiness comes from reaching certain life stages – graduating, landing a good job, owning a home, or starting a family. This can make us believe that our worth is tied to external achievements. As I enter the last year of my degree, I feel this pressure weighing heavier than ever.
The years we spend studying towards our degree are surely more valuable than the five minutes spent collecting that final document
But this pursuit of happiness neglects to see the merit in the in between. The parts between our big milestones, where we meet unexpected people and learn unpredicted lessons. The kinds of things that aren’t listed on your LinkedIn profile, but add more flavour to you – no one likes an unseasoned dish. The years we spend studying towards our degree are surely more valuable than the five minutes spent collecting that final document.
The social media argument never fails to step up to the plate. The digital dragons are breathing down our necks. They tell us what to achieve and by when. They never fail to mention what all of our peers are achieving and leave us with the bitter taste of inadequacy.
In a hyper-connected world, social media platforms are, by design, simply highlight reels, a carefully curated illusion. We know this is true because we all do it, yet it’s hard to accept that others are doing the same.
The antidote to destination addiction is being in the now, but that’s classically easier said than done. I don’t think a ‘social media cleanse’ is the golden ticket and I personally haven’t meditated the pressure away.
So, if you can’t escape the digital dragons, beat them at their own game. Social media, when consumed with a bit more tact, can be the very thing that helps us explore the unexpected and add some flavour. We might even smell a rose or two along the way.
CARLA ERASMUS