For a while, I felt like I was stopping the house of cards that is my life from collapsing completely. In truth, it started unravelling a while ago, and this week it all became overwhelming.
I’ve officially lost my job. Admittedly, it was hanging in the balance since the lockdown started, but it’s still hard to take. Due to my start date at that job, I don’t qualify for Ireland’s ‘Pandemic Unemployment Payment’ either, which leaves my ability to pay living expenses badly hindered.
I failed an exam, too, and after more years of college than you can count on one hand, that’s not something I’m used to. This might not seem so bad. After all, it happens to most people at some stage… But trust me, it is. I’m contacting who I can looking for solutions and (almost) everyone I’ve contacted at UG has been very helpful so far. At least they know I didn’t cheat, eh?
On top of it all, I can feel the cabin fever starting to set in, but I suppose we all do.
So, what can I do? I’m no stranger to overcoming life’s obstacles, but this is different.
On Saturday, we met webcam and took a table quiz. I called my family a bit more too
Between trying to find a job, a solution to my exam issues, keeping up with my living expenses and stopping myself from going completely crazy, I have a lot on my plate. It’s getting difficult to handle.
I’m filling out job applications, but the decisions about me working again lie with whoever reads them. I send e-mails to the university, but the decision on what happens next there doesn’t lie with me, either. I do my bit for coronavirus by staying at home, but who really knows when lockdown might be lifted…
I’ve entered a twilight zone when it comes to having control over my own life and it doesn’t feel good.
But I can tell you what did help me this week. I spoke to friends on the phone and they’re going through a lot of the same things too. On Saturday, we met via webcam and took a table quiz. I called my family a bit more as well.
They say that a burden shared is a burden halved. We’re all going through the same things right now, so reach out, have a chat, and help each other.
That’s what I’ll be doing.