Now
It seems that as time goes on, covid-19 and its associated lockdown seem determined to overcome all obstacles in their endeavours to eat my life whole. It’s stealing my ‘now’, and I can’t do anything to stop it. Sure, there’s a little comfort in knowing we’re in it together, but that isn’t going to stop me feeling like I’m losing out.
Even then, with all the negativity the pandemic has brought, it seems I’ve looked it in the eye and thought ‘that’s not enough hardship actually, I’d like more’. Apparently, I wanted to pile on the misery so much that I took on a master’s and paid a few thousand euros for the privilege, too. Another wise move by yours truly!
Still, in this never-ending quest to satisfy my masochism, I eventually adapt to tough circumstances. Some might call that ability to adapt drive, ambition, or another suspiciously positive Hallmark-card ready term. Whatever you call it, it’s led me to a lot of strange places and new experiences; sometimes good and sometimes bad.
In this never-ending quest to satisfy my masochism, I eventually adapt to tough circumstances
Ultimately though, I hope these experiences will lead to me some knowledge or qualification that will be to my benefit. In taking another year of college, I hope to get a bit more knowledge about psychology and maybe get access to a job in the field. By taking on writing columns, I’m hoping to learn about communicating and writing for others. All worthy endeavours for sure.
But as I caught myself wallowing recently, I had an epiphany. Everything I’ve been doing to improve my life requires me to jump through hoops set by others. Want a master’s? Submit the essays, take the exams… Want to stay safe? Wear this mask, don’t go outside unless you have to… The list goes on. All good stuff and I’ll keep at it, but it’s all about the future, nothing for now!
So last week I decided to try something new. A friend suggested I join up with some cold-water swimmers. It sounded difficult and so I naturally found myself at DOT not long afterward. Jumping in, the water was so cold, but I got good guidance and came through. Most importantly, it wasn’t about a grade or some future after the pandemic. It was just about right now and that felt amazing.
Don’t forget to live in the now. Dive in.