Join in or bring your own food?
Christmas with the carnivores
Door Feeke Rensen
By Feeke Rensen
Feeke Rensen
Romanian student Răzvan Blănaru hadn’t been eating meat for a few months. He would often feel ill after eating and he was tired of that. But then, Christmas came, and his parents wanted him to eat what everyone else was eating.
‘They’d prepared a traditional Romanian dish, but I genuinely didn’t want to eat it’, says the first-year student of biomedical engineering. It even escalated to a fight. ‘In the end, I just quickly made myself some food.’
Vegetarians are on the rise. According to Statistics Netherlands’ last count in 2020, one in three Dutch people said they had eaten less meat than in the previous year. Young people and the educated are most likely to eschew meat. But when young people join their family for Christmas, this can lead to issues.
Răzvan’s parents certainly didn’t understand. ‘No meat? But there’s meat in all the dishes!’ they said, to his frustration.
Pepperoni pizza
Jeroen van Wageningen, biomolecular sciences student, remembers a similar confrontation during Christmas dinner. He and his roommates were having pizza, but he was the only meat eater there and the only one with pepperoni on his pizza.
No meat? But there’s meat in all the dishes!
However, he ended up having an open conversation with his friends. ‘They didn’t try to forcefully convince me of their views, but simply explained why it was important for them to not eat meat.’ In nature, there’s only a small group of animals at the top of the food chain which gets its nutrition from meat, they told him. ‘Since there are so many of us, it’s not sustainable for the earth if we keep eating the amount of meat that we are.’
Jeroen realised this kind of made sense. As a New Year’s resolution, he decided to forego meat for a while. He quickly realised he wasn’t out more money and he wasn’t missing out on any nutrients, either. ‘I was doing pretty well and I realised the impact of eating all that meat’, he says. ‘I’d never really thought about it before.’
No fuss
His resolution has now become his way of life. Fortunately, his parents understand, but Jeroen isn’t super strict about it, either. When it’s time for Christmas dinner and it includes meat, he doesn’t make a fuss. ‘It’s a numbers game really – it’s about the scale at which we eat meat.’
But it’s a personal choice, and he can’t, and won’t, force it on anyone else. After all, he knows from experience that it doesn’t work. ‘If you calmly explain to someone why you feel the way you feel and do the things you do, they may not immediately understand, but you will hopefully have planted a seed.’
They may not immediately understand, but you’ll have planted a seed
Daniëlle Blom also knows how hard it can be for people to change an eating pattern they’ve had their entire lives. The master student of biomedical engineering has been a vegetarian for more than eleven years. She absolutely refuses to eat meat, something her family took some time getting used to.
‘Especially my granddad didn’t know how to react’, she says. ‘If it were up to him, we’d be barbecuing for Christmas – in fact, we did one time.’
Three options
Her grandparents also didn’t know what alternatives they had to get their granddaughter. Daniëlle was the first vegetarian they’d ever known and supermarkets didn’t have that many meat substitutes yet. They would cycle between the three available options. ‘Every day, my mum would ask me which one I wanted that day.’
But when her grandma makes Christmas dinner, she always tries her best, says Daniëlle. She usually calls her just before getting the raclette set down from the attic, to make sure she bought the right foods. ‘She wants me to have the same special Christmas that everyone else has.’
It’s mainly something people need some time to get used to, the students have realised. Over the years, Răzvan had fewer fights around Christmas. He realised that it helps to talk about it not just during Christmas, but the rest of the year, as well. ‘That allowed me to calmly explain why it was important to me.’ These days, his family prepare a few meatless dishes for him.
Lead
Another option, Jeroen says, is taking the lead yourself. A friend of his is vegan and she often cooks something nice and doesn’t tell people it was vegan until after the meal is over. ‘That way, people can just enjoy the food’, says Jeroen. ‘It might also change their minds that vegans eat nothing but soybeans.’
My grandma wants me to have the same special Christmas
Daniëlle recommends staying true to yourself when there’s friction during Christmas dinner. She’s realised that people feel attacked and become defensive. It no longer shocks her. In fact, she thinks it’s kind of funny. ‘I just don’t get it. There is no discussion. I’m doing what I think is right. I’m not telling anyone they’re not allowed to eat meat.’
If someone starts making mean remarks, it’s best to just shrug them off. But if you can’t, it’s fine to speak up, she says. ‘You could look around to see if there’s a “safe person”, someone else in your family who agrees with you. In my case, it’s my mother who sticks up for me.’
Together
In the end, all three students agree that Christmas dinner isn’t about the food, but about being together. ‘Christmas is about being present during dinner’, says Jeroen. ‘You don’t sit down in front of the TV, you set the table and light all these candles.’
Who exactly eats what shouldn’t affect the mood. ‘You don’t have to talk about anyone’s diet habits’, says Daniëlle. ‘Don’t let it ruin your Christmas; talk about anything else.’