Wes’ remedy against existential fear
The 461 credit student
He was not a very motivated high school student at all. Wes Woestenborghs barely got passing grades and even failed his final maths exam. Not because he wasn’t smart enough, though: ‘I just wasn’t willing to put the effort into some of the classes, since they weren’t interesting or challenging.’
So it would probably surprise his teachers to hear that their once unmotivated pupil, now a fourth-year international relations and international organization (IRIO) student, managed to earn no fewer than 461 ECTS in three years. That’s three full years worth of credits – 60 for each year – plus another 281. He’s doing two bachelor’s programmes simultaneously as well as Honours College, is on the arts faculty council and has a part-time job.
How did that happen?
Breakdown
Halfway through his first year of IRIO, Wes had a breakdown. It wasn’t the stress of university life that got to the Belgian-Dutch student – rather the opposite. ‘I was disappointed in the workload.’
It was 2020, in the midst of the Covid-19 lockdown. Wes felt emotionally tired out. The simplicity of his daily routine was exhausting. He was barely studying and working night shifts at Albert Heijn, having to show a police officer his paper exempting him from curfew, getting minimal sleep, and doing it all over again the next day. ‘It was scary. And it never changed. I started to question what my purpose was.’
I started to question what my purpose was
He felt stuck, and in the courses he was taking, he saw what that could lead to. ‘I noticed that there is so much inaction in the world’, he says. ‘States and organisations seem to leave issues be, instead of actively solving them, which results in more unnecessary conflict.’
And so, to escape from his existential slump, Wes decided he had to change something. He wanted to learn how to contribute to society within his own field and concluded that studying IRIO was not enough. He took up the international and European law programme, as well as the philosophy of a specific discipline honours programme to deepen his understanding of his field.
Still, Wes wanted to contribute more actively during his study years, so he joined the arts faculty council faction Letteren Vooruit. He decided to keep working part-time. ‘Once I started earning money on the side, I couldn’t stop.’
Downsides
A typical week has him working twenty hours at Albert Heijn and putting in around six hours at Letteren Vooruit, with the rest of his time devoted to studying and social obligations. But while he likes being busy, it has its downsides. ‘In general, I find I am less prepared for life’s difficult moments, such as finding out a family member is ill or having a tense period in my relationship.’
Situations like that paralyse him and he doesn’t know how to move forward. During one such period, he had seven courses to revise for. ‘I was tempted to put off my exams until the following block, but I knew it would be impossible to pass nearly fourteen courses in the next exam period, so I had to push through.’
He still believes, though, that he is better off now than he was in his first year. Now that he is more active, he does not feel like an observer of his own life anymore. ‘The more I take on, the less anxious I feel.’
Back burner
So what’s his trick to staying sane? ‘Not caring too much’, says Wes.
The trick is not caring too much
He doesn’t brood over not getting eights and nines; for Wes, a six will do. Putting certain courses on the back burner also helps; something that was easier to do when all his classes were posted online during lockdown. There are always a couple of courses in a block that he does not look into until the exam period. ‘It makes revision a nightmare and at a certain point all the courses begin to blur together’, he says. ‘But at least it gives me time to appreciate the more joyous moments of my lifestyle.’
Attending four different summer schools in the Netherlands, Singapore, and Italy this past summer, for example. Wes learnt about illicit trade, international affairs, business, and Shakespeare. ‘I thrive on variety, so this summer represented a certain amount of freedom and accomplishment’, he says. Those are things that were lacking since the lockdown.
Intrinsic incentive
In truth, Wes does not feel like he’s changed much since high school. His laidback attitude towards his academic performance reflects that of the unmotivated pupil he used to be. The only difference now is his intrinsic incentive to learn, whether it be from a textbook or from the people around him.
While studying does take up a good chunk of his time, he feels all those other activities are just as important. He has reached more people than he thought possible through his faculty council position and has met both like-minded people and those with differing mindsets in the summer schools he has attended.
Wes’ lifestyle, though not entirely sustainable, has aided him in learning how to contribute to society and to deal with the more difficult aspects of life. ‘I like learning. It makes me see my own feelings of smallness and lack of purpose in others. And I want to spend my life working towards finding a collective purpose.’
