Abandoned as an infant high in the mountains of Colorado, James was taken in and raised by a family of marmots. They trained him in the art of satire, but warned him: ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’ He didn’t understand the truth of their words until his adopted rodent brother, Donald Trump’s hair, turned to the dark side.
James could only sit by and watch, helpless and appalled, as his evil brother meme’d his way to the White House. Forever changed by what he had seen, James fled to The Netherlands and vowed to always use his powers for good.
Locals experienced mild inconvenience in the Vismarkt this past week, as scores of disgruntled farmers parked their tractors in the square to protest barriers of all sorts. It was an emotional event, with one protester going so far as to drive their tractor over a fence and straight through the doors of city hall.
‘The problem with society these days is all these barriers’, said one protester. ‘You see, we’re from the country, so we’ve got exactly two types of barriers: ditches and wire fences, and we try to keep them at a minimum. But here in the city… things are just getting out of hand. Walls, doors, and these abominable metal fences the city had up right by where we were parked. You have so many physical barriers, and their only purpose is to divide people.’
The protesters slogans were amicable enough: ‘We are all one and you’ll thank us later.’ However, the city wasn’t feeling to friendly. The door to city hall was ‘pretty expensive as far as doors go’ and the authorities were none too happy seeing it broken.
‘Of course they weren’t happy we broke it’, said a protester when asked for comment. ‘It was the physical manifestation of a class divide the city has a vested interest in perpetuating. They see the removal of the ‘door’ object as a threat to their legitimacy.’