You simulate removing your glasses (you have none: you’re that drunk). You see only a big blue van, which brakes before unloading six enormous packages onto the street. Then, from within a nearby house, the almighty cheer of unquenched maws! Followed swiftly by the exhausted ‘puff’ of over-worked livers… The van leaves. What the fucoid is it?

‘Bavaria Bierkoeriers.’ Roughly translated to ‘Best Fucking Idea Ever,’ in English, or more precisely, ‘Bavaria Beer Couriers.’ Oh yes. Beer on tap. Literally. Within minutes you could have a basement full of cold Bavaria crates (excitement-induced panic-attack included), a card full of ‘beer points,’ and—Holy Mother of Binge—it’s all delivered for free!

Run by approximately twelve students, the men with ven have helped save lives since 2002, embodied in their unmistakable emblem: ‘Biermans.’

Imagine the endless situations in which this service is helpful; pre-party, you worry if you made it clear to BYO as the Monopoly board boldly winks up at you from the corner of your room; mid-party, you need more drink to make a particular guest more interesting; after-party, you need to stop your partner from ever sobering up. With the near-constant supply of beer readily available from Bavaria’s own Bravehearts, these things will no longer be an issue.

I’ve used them once so far… only remember being on top of the van… something about ‘freeing the Groningen Bell Ringer…’

Active only in Groningen, Utrecht, and Tilburg, Bavaria Bierkoerier is the supremely lazy (best) way to buy booze, because—in the words of Duke himself— good people drink good beer, and what better is beer that is brought to you! Proost!