Everything in life taught me to always be good, from movie villains that get punished to behavioral training in primary school. Be nice, grateful, polite, respectful, humble, kind, positive, helpful, considerate, ethical, interested, quiet, educated, adhere to the rules—the list goes on. In the end, the good are rewarded, and the bad face consequences. But no one ever said when this happy ending might actually arrive, and that beyond basic decency, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ often depends on rules, power, and convenience rather than morality itself.
Is being inconveniently honest considered bad? Is being determined and bold a bad thing? Is standing up for yourself bad, too? In a Disney film, these traits often define the good protagonist. In a political feud between two presidents, the judgment of their actions depends on political positions and media portrayal.
This tension between ‘good’ behavior and real-world consequences also becomes very pronounced in academic and professional settings.
The university encourages students to be critical and honest, but imposes strict rules when students protest, even if it’s about budget cuts or the abolishment of inclusivity policies. ‘Be thankful the rules aren’t stricter’, someone told me. If these rules aren’t followed, students may face consequences—whether through police intervention or a difficult conversation with the administration.
The only way to create change or reach your goals is to stand firm and embrace being a little bad when needed
The corporate world, too, promotes respect and inclusivity while offering internships that barely, if at all, cover money for food. Passion is demanded for an internship, but applications written in the wrong (non-Dutch) language are rejected. Being persistent—sending follow-ups or making calls—can make you seem either proactive or pushy. But overstep unspoken boundaries, and you risk being labeled difficult or unprofessional.
My friends and acquaintances often say that you should withhold the whole truth and avoid making a fuss. Otherwise, you may be seen as too problematic to work with. While I agree that you should choose your battles wisely and avoid unnecessary conflicts, the only way to create change or reach your goals is to stand firm, be considerate only to an extent, and embrace being a little bad when needed.
Of course, kindness, honesty, and respect should always be the foundation of any action. But beyond that, ‘goodness’ is highly situational. Voicing an inconvenient opinion with others can finally make people listen. Sending another email or follow-up call can mean the difference between being ignored or noticed. Standing up for your values may seem ungrateful to some, but those who share them will recognize and support you.
In movies, the good win and get their happy ending as the credits roll. In real life, especially right now, things are far from a Disney movie. It is an ongoing process where sometimes being bad and inconvenient is the only way to achieve something good—hopefully before the credits roll.
LIZA KOLOMIIETS