While grabbing coffee with an old friend I hadn’t seen in over three years, we looped each other in on major life updates of career changes, relationships, shifting dreams. Somewhere between sips, we touched on a topic that felt almost unspeakable: not wanting to move to the Randstad. With a half-embarrassed smile, she admitted that the idea of trading Groningen for Amsterdam no longer appealed to her the way it once had.
I understood exactly what she meant. When I first moved to Groningen, it felt like a big, cozy village, ideal for student life. The kind of place where everyone knows everyone and the farthest dinner party is a twenty-minute bike ride away. Back then, I saw my time here as a temporary chapter meant to end as soon as I was ready for something ‘bigger’.
‘Amsterdam gives off a big-city vibe’, another friend told me recently. ‘People are more open and vibrant, which makes me feel like I’ve outgrown Groningen now that my studies are ending.’
And sure, the job prospects, especially in the cultural sector, are hard to ignore. But I’ve started to wonder if that energy and constant buzz can also be misleading. The big move doesn’t always lead to the transformation we imagine, like in those Hollywood films about small-town girls chasing their dreams.
For some, the city lights offer momentum and inspiration. For others, they’re simply too bright, too fast, too loud
Curious whether this was just nostalgia or reluctance to let go of student life, I talked to friends who had already made the leap. Despite growing careers and access to the cultural crème de la crème, many say that if Groningen had more to offer job-wise, they’d return in a heartbeat.
Of course, where you choose to live is deeply personal and there’s no universal rule. For some, the city lights offer momentum and inspiration. For others, they’re simply too bright, too fast, too loud. Ambition doesn’t always need skyscrapers and seven networking events a week to grow. Maybe staying in Groningen a little longer, or even coming back after tasting the speed of Amsterdam life, shouldn’t be seen as a failure or a lack of drive.
It’s something I think about often. As I currently live between Amsterdam and Groningen due to my internship, the contrast between the two follows me like a shadow. In Amsterdam, I’m amazed by how much can happen in a single day with all the museums, film screenings, and endless professional possibilities that feel like a buffet for the starving.
But with that comes a strange fatigue, the feeling that if you’re not constantly doing something, you’re falling behind. Then I return to Groningen where the air feels lighter, the rhythm slower but not stagnant, and people still dream big, but the performance of ambition doesn’t feel as necessary.
So there’s no clear answer, nor does there have to be. What matters is finding a place that lets you feel like yourself, even if it’s not the place everyone else is moving to. And that choice deserves no embarrassment at all.
LIZA KOLOMIIETS